Busted Up Old Lady With A Shiny Heart

You know how people sometimes say, “Oh I’ll pray for you” but you never truly believe that they intend to? It can end up being just a nice thing to say and a way out of a conversation.
Well, I have this friend who once in a while will tell me that he’s going to pray for me, and he’ll tell me what he is specifically praying for. I never once doubt that he’s going to do it because stuff HAPPENS when he prays.

I was at work on Friday and the bookstore was incredibly busy because of a big sale we were having. I was exhausted from trying to help people find the sale items from the catalogue. An elderly lady shuffled her way back into the music department and she took a seat on one of the chairs. I asked her if she needed any help at all and she said that her debit card was malfunctioning and her husband was going to drive to the store with his own debit card to pay for her items.
We started chatting as she waited for him to arrive and she mentioned that it was so nice to be out shopping for Christmas this year; she had been in the hospital last year. I asked her if she was in better health and she said no, not exactly.

It turns out this lady had taken a fall and broken her nose, had her front teeth pushed up into the top of her mouth, shattered her kneecap into 3 pieces, busted up her left shoulder and her hand and had been in and out of different hospitals in the city for 6 months. She had to move from hospital to hospital frequently to see different specialists for each different ailment.
I responded sympathetically and said I was so sorry that she had been through that and she put her hand up and shushed me.
She said she was happy to go through it all and would do it all again because throughout her 6 months in the hospital she had lead so many people to the Lord. She rattled off a list of patients, visitors, and nurses…it was amazing, and as she was telling me I had to start blinking really quickly so I wouldn’t start crying because I’m just LIKE that.

This old lady was 82, had been through so much pain and was still suffering, yet she was smiling about it because of the way she had allowed God to work in her life. She talked to me about how important it is to be obedient to the Lord when He calls us to do something, and the wonderful things that result from it. She said that just that week the nurse that had been coming to her house and helping her out had accepted Christ.

Then she looked me in the eyes and asked ME how I was doing. I laughed a bit and said I was pretty tired but fine while inside my head I was yelling, I’m not fine! I’m stressed out! I’m trying to move out of my house, I’m having problems with my family, I’m worried about school, I’m scared about the future.
She grabbed my hand and told me she was going to pray with me and right there in the middle of a crowd of people we held hands and she prayed out loud for me and of course I started bawling. This lady had God on speed dial and she spoke so beautifully and authoritatively about my health and direction in my life. I felt loved.

I checked my email that night and saw that I had an email from earlier that day. It was from my praying friend and he said, “I’m going to pray for you tonight. Specifically that God would have control of everything that you do, and that He would show you that you need to allow Him to do so.”

The lightbulb went on and I kind of yelled at my computer because OF COURSE that conversation with that sweet old lady was from God, or at least I’m choosing to believe it was. It was like He was saying This is what true obedience looks like. This is how I want you to view any trial that comes your way. I want you to let Me have total control- and you might get busted up doing it- but it’s for My glory.

It’s not about me! This life, these problems, this temporary pain…it’s really not about me. How many times do I need reminding before it really sinks in?

And that is that.

I had an interesting conversation with a customer in the bookstore tonight. She was asking if it were really true that Ray Boltz had gone public about being gay, and I told her it was. She was shocked and said she couldn’t listen to her old songs of his anymore and that homosexuality is an abomination and God looks upon gays with hatred. She also mentioned that she thought being a homosexual is a bigger sin than anything else. She went on and on with this disgusted look on her face and I could feel my blood start to boil.

I have a big mouth, and I should not have said anything but I get tired of people who are so unloving.
Yes I agree that living a homosexual lifestyle is a sin but I’m quite sure sin is sin in God’s eyes, no matter what it is. Why is it okay to look upon homosexuals with disgust but quietly ignore the unmarried couple in the pew on Sunday morning who are living together?
I said something to her to that effect, and mentioned that there could possibly be gay people in her church who love the Lord and choose to live celibate lives. I also told her that it’s important to be careful of the way we speak because you never know a person’s situation- my brother could have been gay for all she knew and here she had been basically spewing this garbage about God hating gays. Does God hate gay people? Absolutely not. Does he hate their sin? Of course, just like he hates when I lie, when I lust, and when I gossip about other people.
That’s the thing- God is love. He passionately loves everyone, and calls us to lead lives that are pleasing to Him. God is perfect and that means he hates sin but that doesn’t mean he hates US.

That’s like saying he sent Jesus to save everyone except the liars, the murderers, the thieves, the adulterers, those who covet…who would there be left to save? We ALL struggle with sin, every single day.

Why are we so quick to judge? No wonder people can’t stand the Church. Let’s meet people where they’re at, let’s get some perspective on where they’re coming from and above all, let’s practice love and leave the judging and condemning to God.

Guess who’s overworked, underpaid, and working at 7:30 am tomorrow?
THIS GIRL!

I don’t even care because I sleep like a baby at night and that is without precedent…except for maybe when I was literally a baby.
Plus everything is wonderful now that I have cheetah print flats to wear to work as my little rebellion against all things conservative churchianity.

“Oh let’s ask this nice girl to help us find a Bibl..NO NEVER MIND. I see you have a tattoo and wild animals on your feet.”

Goodnight.